From the pain of Palliative Care to the joy of volunteering
How Kate Bremner’s experiences at the JGH inspired her to give of herself
In 2023, after 51 days in Palliative Care that came to a heartbreaking conclusion with the death of Kate Bremner’s partner, Suzanne, Ms. Bremner instinctively felt the need to express her gratitude for the exceptional care that JGH staff had provided.
The idea of volunteering—something she had been considering for some time—appealed greatly to her. But she wasn’t sure she was capable of extricating herself from what she now describes, in retrospect, as “the black hole of my sorrow.”
The answer came in two stages. First, Ms. Bremner reminded herself of the advice she had received from her partner of 25 years: “One of the last things she said to me was, ‘Don’t spin your wheels in the mud of grief.’
“She knew I’m a people person and she was telling me to go out and enjoy life. So that’s what I did. Volunteering has been very, very important for me—almost a part of my healing.”
Ms. Bremner also realized that despite her deep appreciation for the support of staff in Palliative Care, her spirits needed to be lifted in an entirely different setting—“somewhere much lighter than what I’d grown used to.”
Which is why, with the support of the Volunteer Services Department at the JGH, she found her way to Obstetrical Ultrasound, where she dedicates six hours each week to helping expectant mothers prepare for their appointment.
“I spent 51 extremely difficult days with Suzanne in the saying-goodbye-to-life department,” Ms. Bremner explains. “That’s why the ideal place for me to give back to the hospital is in the saying-hello-to-life department. It’s all about balance.”
The incentives for becoming a volunteer vary widely, says Marko Obradovic, Chief of Volunteer Services for CIUSSS West-Central Montreal. However, he adds, Ms. Bremner and dozens of others with similar experiences instinctively believe that showing up in person is the most sincere way of saying “thank you” for the excellent care they or a loved one has received.
For the 66-year-old Ms. Bremner, that means travelling to the hospital twice a week, conferring briefly with Randy Kauffman (the Administrative Agent in Obstetrical Ultrasound) and phoning mothers-to-be about their appointment.
You can be a volunteer!
As a volunteer, you’ll bring comfort and hope to users of health care and social services, while helping to lighten the workload of grateful staff. Plus you’ll bring out the best in yourself!
To find out more about volunteering at the JGH or in any of the facilities of CIUSSS West-Central Montreal, visit the website of the Department of Volunteer Services or contact the department by email.
In addition to confirming with patients that they will be coming, she provides them with information to prepare for their visit, as well as answering questions on subjects she is authorized to discuss.
“Not only do I enjoy speaking with our patients, I’m the type of person who needs to see tangible results of what I do,” Ms. Bremner says. “If a patient is waiting to hear whether an appointment has been scheduled, she’s so pleased to get my call. That makes me feel good, because it means that what I do definitely has a purpose.
“If the appointment doesn’t fit the patient’s availability, I figure it out with her, so there’s some problem-solving, as well. And later, if I happen to meet her in person in the office, it’s nice to be able to match a face to the voice.”
Although Ms. Bremner’s most recent motivation to volunteer was based on how Suzanne and she had been treated in Palliative Care, the full list of reasons is somewhat longer. In 2005, after Ms. Bremner’s mother underwent open-heart surgery at the JGH, her care was so good that the notion of volunteering at some future date entered Ms. Bremner’s mind for the first time.
Next, Suzanne had one hip replaced in 2010 and the other 2012 at the JGH. Again the care was outstanding. The same held true for Ms. Bremner’s knee replacements at the JGH in 2016 and 2019. “What impressed me,” she recalls, “was the incredibly positive attitude of everyone, including the nurses, the PABs and volunteers.”
When the time came for Suzanne to enter Palliative Care, “they cared for her and me both. They made me feel as much a part of the equation as my partner was. Her physician, Dr. Elizabeth MacNamara, was absolutely exceptional in including me in every decision and every idea we wanted to talk about.
“Also, the volunteers always went out of their way to make sure we were comfortable. I still remember that after one particularly difficult day at the hospital, a volunteer called me at home that night to make sure I was okay. I can’t tell you how much that meant to me.”
Ms. Bremner understands why some potential volunteers might feel hesitant about working in an environment where illness and the presence of the physical, emotional and psychological distress of patients and their families are inevitable.
“To them I’d say, ‘Give it a try!’ It might just surprise you. If you’re assigned somewhere and you decide you don’t quite fit, they’ll find somewhere else where you do fit. It’s all about matching you to the tasks and the surroundings where you’ll be most the comfortable and the most useful.
“Once you do find that spot, the sense of satisfaction will be like nothing you’ve felt before.”
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