Perinatal Loss Kit helps ease mothers’ grief after losing a baby during pregnancy
Contents provide emotional solace and physical comfort
It was an ultrasound that finally confirmed the tragic news that Lauren Baer-Tenenbaum had been dreading: The baby girl she had been carrying for 20 weeks would not survive. In several days, she would have to return to the JGH for the heartbreaking delivery.
In an effort to help, hospital staff gently advised Ms. Baer-Tenenbaum in October 2024 to come as she was, with no need to pack anything special. But in speaking with her husband about the suggestion, she told him, “It just doesn’t seem right.”
Certain she would need a few essentials from home when she was in the hospital, she took the time to set aside sanitary pads, underwear, socks, a change of comfortable clothing and a blanket.
In doing so, without realizing it, Ms. Baer-Tenenbaum was taking the first steps toward creating what has now become the Perinatal Loss Kit.
In this recently launched initiative, reusable tote bags have been thoughtfully packed with some basic necessities for use in the hospital, as well as a poem and personalized note for women at the JGH who are facing the devastating loss of a baby in the second trimester or later.
The Perinatal Loss Kit—five of which were distributed between early July and early September—is now a key feature of the support provided by the Perinatal Loss Committee, which will hold its annual remembrance ceremony on Perinatal and Neonatal Loss Awareness Day on October 15.
The experiences of these women are different from those who prepare a hospital bag before a viable-term delivery.
Support for the Perinatal Loss Kit
Support from the following helped make the Perinatal Loss Kit a reality:
- Jean Coutu on Queen Mary Road
- Maximage
- Jessica Urlichs
- Sinclair Dental
- Lamour
Ms. Baer-Tenenbaum, a JGH Social Worker herself, figured they might not have the presence of mind to gather the things they need, or that they simply might not know what to bring.
A gift of emotional and physical comfort
“There’s nothing we can do to remove the pain these mothers and parents are feeling, except to give them back their baby, which is clearly impossible,” says Ms. Baer-Tenenbaum.
“But that doesn’t mean we’re helpless. The Perinatal Loss Kit lets these mothers and their families know that someone else understands their grief, that someone else has walked a similar path, that someone else is thinking of them.”
The packages provide them with sanitary pads, a toothbrush, toothpaste, a pair of cozy socks, a fruit bar (or similar snack), lip balm, hand cream, tissues, the inspirational poem and the brief, personal note from Ms. Baer-Tenenbaum.
After developing the concept, Ms. Baer-Tenenbaum gained the support of Louna Kadoch and Nadine Fava, Co-Chairs of the JGH’s Perinatal Loss Committee.
Financial backing, as well as consultation and assistance throughout the start-up process, was also provided by the hospital’s Humanization of Care Committee, co‑chaired by Susan Lavy and Krystle North. In addition, various sponsors contributed to the project (see upper sidebar).
Ms. Kadoch, a Social Worker, also notes that for the past two years, her committee has been giving a Memory Box (see sidebar) to each woman whose baby dies before, during or after delivery.
Inside are commemorative items such as a handprint and footprint kit, teddy bears that symbolically pair the parents with their baby, and customized keepsakes.
However, she explains, the box is meant to help preserve the entire family’s bond of memory with the child, whereas the Perinatal Loss Kit is designed to meet the immediate emotional and physical needs of the mother. Women who receive the Perinatal Loss Kit are also given a Memory Box.
Preserving cherished memories
A Memory Box, developed and supported by the non-profit With Love From Michael Foundation, is given to each woman whose baby dies before, during or after delivery.
The challenge of bringing a good idea to life
When the proposal came before the Humanization of Care Committee, its benefits were so obvious that “we voted hands-down to support it and now we’re proud to be part of it,” says Ms. Lavy.
Good ideas like Ms. Baer-Tenenbaum’s aren’t in short supply, she continues, “but not everyone has the determination to take their proposals to the next level. It’s great that Lauren took charge, rolled up her sleeves and made it happen.
“Thanks to her, the Perinatal Loss Kit has become another way for our hospital to distinguish itself in the way it pays such close attention to the vital human qualities that are essential to proper care.”
“What’s also important is that Lauren succeeded in launching a project on a subject that many people find difficult to talk about,” says Ms. Fava, a Nursing Practice Consultant in Maternal-Child Health.
“People aren’t usually looking to fund this kind of initiative, because it’s not what they’re comfortable focusing on.
“But the sad reality is that perinatal loss happens more often than most people realize, and now we’re doing even more to try to ease the pain.”
Going the extra mile to humanize care
Interested in playing a role in improving the patient experience at the Jewish General Hospital? The Humanization of Care Committee would love to hear from you.
More information is available online or from Administrative Assistant Nadia Kim.
This is accomplished, to a considerable degree, through the kit’s note from Ms. Baer-Tenenbaum, which declares that the gift comes “from the heart of one grieving mother to another.”
“Your grief is real,” the note states reassuringly, “your love is real and your baby will always be remembered …
“Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to grieve in your own way and know that your emotions—whatever they may be—are completely valid. Please know that you are not alone.”
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